日志
【身心健康】江湖心理医师 -- Amateur Psychotherapists
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[题记：生活里不懂装懂的人很多，也许出于爱心，但是误解和简单的说教往往有害。]
有一天教授接见了一位美国访问学者，一听说竟是同一专业，那个“心理医疗”的词汇就像雪崩一般从教授嘴里喷薄而出，多少年了呀，那张嘴也许在梦里就无数次拼读过这个词汇呢。多谢那位教授的狂呼乱号，加上生活里别的插曲，“心理医疗”这个概念似乎时时占据我的思维，特别是当我有闲自言自语的时候。
中国人一直以来依赖于身旁的江湖心理医师，那些人算不算医生只有我们心里有数；我们的精神状态一直摇摆于状态良好和疯人院之间。所以我们为有个大家庭而骄傲，周围的亲戚朋友，大中学同学，他们不仅帮助我们在社会里升迁，给我们种种物质和非物质的便利，他们也是我们精神健康的保障啊。感觉压抑了，心中不顺了，就找亲戚朋友说事，谁愿意听就找谁说去。绝望时，事态紧急时，生死攸关时，还是向同一伙求助。感谢这些在需要时出现的人们，他们是我们生活的自豪。
只是痛彻入骨了怎么办？感受到深切的苦痛，难以忍受的苦痛，那些来自不可言喻的社会禁忌的痛苦，比如乱伦和同性恋，我们该怎么办？中国不可能没有这样的事情。中国有，这样巨大的痛苦在中国一样存在。“我看到了，我的四只眼睛都看到了”，那位教授边擦眼镜边说，擦眼镜的手不停地颤抖。“当然，只有其中的两只眼睛能够流泪。”
不奇怪的，我们在最脆弱的时候时常获得一些江湖术士的理疗，或者干脆就是误诊。江湖术士中不乏心有沉疴之人；这样的人喜欢进言，多为谬论哦，往往引人入歧途。不能再听这样的啰嗦了。心中每天都有风雷闪电，感觉了却不能言语啊。您若有心，就知道这不是耸人听闻。
怪哉，和其它国家比较，中国的自杀率还不算太高。也许我们习惯了，多层次的苦难在我们轻微的生命中已经司空见惯，我们的心理健康已经变得微不足道，到了几乎可以忽略的地步了。可是，当我们中间最敏感的心儿融入一个全新的文化，自杀和他杀就疯狂地走上了生活舞台。不会是最近我们才感觉到彼此相处不是很融洽吧？本该同病相怜，我们却同病相虐。我们反感同类，以受害者的身分指责别人为罪魁祸首。
也许这一切仅仅是生活水平的反应。当桌子上仅有果腹的面包时，心理医疗听上去是可笑的臆症，烦人的奢望。中国国内刚刚允许人们放开手脚赚钱，所以距离人们出钱看专业精神病医生的日子还有些时日呢。
那我们怎么做？我们移民到了一个全新的国度和文化，不同的生活方式带了了不同的欢乐和痛苦，我们究竟如何保持精神健康？
我常常想啊，假如我能活得足够长，我就会去国内最压抑的城市开一间诊所，为那些实在是疲倦了的心儿布置些鲜花和舒适的椅子。只是我没有心理医疗方面的专业训练。人的本能是惧怕进入一座压抑人的城市的哦，而压抑似乎占据着好大一片国土呢，不是吗？
英文原文写于 February, 1996 。。。。 中文翻译于，July， 2010
*** 英文原文 ***
Amateur Psychotherapists
Psychotherapy first came to me as a new word of fuzzy concepts when I was still in China, a word that still reminds me of a Chinese university professor in the philosophy department who got his master's degree in psychology from Boston College in the 1950s. His overseas experience had earned him enough misery and misfortunes by the time I met him. It goes without saying that his misery peaked, like everyone else, during the Cultural Revolution. So, when the 1980s came, he was thrilled to witness that college kids started to fascinate in Sigmund Freud in particular and psychology in general. He took it that maybe those young and sensitive hearts couldn't bear the pain that made the hearts of their parents, grandparents and older brothers and sisters bleed. Anyway, the professor would talk until white foam came out of his mouth about the blank field that is psychology in our country and culture, damn it.
One day the professor met a visiting scholar from the U.S. whose field matched his old major exactly, "psychotherapy" came down like an avalanche of syllables out of his mouth which could only pronounce that word in his dreams for years... Thanks to the professor's shouting and other episodes in my life, "psychotherapy" has become a little compass which points my mind to a certain direction whenever I have time to mumble to my sweet self.
We Chinese have been relying on amateur psychotherapists, if they are any at all, for a good part of our life which is torn between sound mental health and psychiatric ward. We are proud of the tradition of our extended family and the network of friends, relatives, high school and college classmates we keep around for not only social advancement, access to resources and conveniences, but also for our psychological well-being. When we feel frustrated, that happens too often I may add, we talk to family members and friends, or to anyone we know and who is willing to listen. That's nice. When we are confronted with despair, emergency, life-and-death situations, we call upon the same group for help. We are thankful and proud to have them when in need.
And what about pain, horrific pain, pain of the unbearable variety, caused by unspeakable social taboos, such as incest and homosexuality? You can't tell me with a straight face that things such as these don't exist in China. Get real, my friend, of course they do and we have plenty of this kind of massive and destructive pain. "I see them. I see them with four eyes," as the professor shouted while cleaning his glasses and hands trembling, "and with tears coming out of two of them at times."
It should surprise no one to realize that there is this risk of exposing our hearts at vulnerable moments to amateur treatments or mistreatments really. Some amateurs might as well be patients themselves; they never fail to provide misleading guidance and even harmful advice which could lead to real trauma, as if more is need. There are explosions in our hearts which we feel but fail to acknowledge in the daily basis. You know what I mean, my friend.
Strange yet is that suicide rate is not that particularly high in China, as compared to other nations. Maybe we have grown so accustomed to suffering in so many other aspects of our pitiful life that our psychological state of mind becomes insignificant thus ignorable. However, when some of the most sensitive hearts get exposed to a new culture, things happen in the glorious forms of homicide and suicide. Or was it only yesterday that we discovered that we can't treat each other right; we lash out at those with whom we share the same illness. Or we try to point fingers to those who share the same background and say, "Look, those are the aggressors and I am the victim." Yeah, right.
Maybe it is something concerning only living standards. When we could not get our daily bread, psychotherapy bears the implication of laughable illusion and annoying eccentricity. Only now folks in China are allowed to go after money in a full-blitz manner, and you can bet that it will be a while for them to pay to see a professional psychotherapist.
But what about us? I mean those of us who have migrated to live in a different culture, enjoying or suffering through a different way of life, what do we do with our mental health?
I always think that, if I live long enough, I will open a clinic in the most depressing city in China with flowers and comfortable chairs for those fatigued hearts. But I have no training in psychotherapy, nor do I wish to venture into any depressing city, something that covers quite a territory in China, does it not?
February, 1996
One day the professor met a visiting scholar from the U.S. whose field matched his old major exactly, "psychotherapy" came down like an avalanche of syllables out of his mouth which could only pronounce that word in his dreams for years... Thanks to the professor's shouting and other episodes in my life, "psychotherapy" has become a little compass which points my mind to a certain direction whenever I have time to mumble to my sweet self.
We Chinese have been relying on amateur psychotherapists, if they are any at all, for a good part of our life which is torn between sound mental health and psychiatric ward. We are proud of the tradition of our extended family and the network of friends, relatives, high school and college classmates we keep around for not only social advancement, access to resources and conveniences, but also for our psychological well-being. When we feel frustrated, that happens too often I may add, we talk to family members and friends, or to anyone we know and who is willing to listen. That's nice. When we are confronted with despair, emergency, life-and-death situations, we call upon the same group for help. We are thankful and proud to have them when in need.
And what about pain, horrific pain, pain of the unbearable variety, caused by unspeakable social taboos, such as incest and homosexuality? You can't tell me with a straight face that things such as these don't exist in China. Get real, my friend, of course they do and we have plenty of this kind of massive and destructive pain. "I see them. I see them with four eyes," as the professor shouted while cleaning his glasses and hands trembling, "and with tears coming out of two of them at times."
It should surprise no one to realize that there is this risk of exposing our hearts at vulnerable moments to amateur treatments or mistreatments really. Some amateurs might as well be patients themselves; they never fail to provide misleading guidance and even harmful advice which could lead to real trauma, as if more is need. There are explosions in our hearts which we feel but fail to acknowledge in the daily basis. You know what I mean, my friend.
Strange yet is that suicide rate is not that particularly high in China, as compared to other nations. Maybe we have grown so accustomed to suffering in so many other aspects of our pitiful life that our psychological state of mind becomes insignificant thus ignorable. However, when some of the most sensitive hearts get exposed to a new culture, things happen in the glorious forms of homicide and suicide. Or was it only yesterday that we discovered that we can't treat each other right; we lash out at those with whom we share the same illness. Or we try to point fingers to those who share the same background and say, "Look, those are the aggressors and I am the victim." Yeah, right.
Maybe it is something concerning only living standards. When we could not get our daily bread, psychotherapy bears the implication of laughable illusion and annoying eccentricity. Only now folks in China are allowed to go after money in a full-blitz manner, and you can bet that it will be a while for them to pay to see a professional psychotherapist.
But what about us? I mean those of us who have migrated to live in a different culture, enjoying or suffering through a different way of life, what do we do with our mental health?
I always think that, if I live long enough, I will open a clinic in the most depressing city in China with flowers and comfortable chairs for those fatigued hearts. But I have no training in psychotherapy, nor do I wish to venture into any depressing city, something that covers quite a territory in China, does it not?
February, 1996
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发表评论 评论 (55 个评论)
- 回复 RidgeWalker
- 是这样。久病成医。
铜山: 心理医生连自己的心理疾病也医治不好呢~ 但可以有个职业来维持生存~
这里有两幅很美的图片~
不过真有专业训练。只是都以西方人为研究对象。
期待将来出现以中国文化为出发点的心理研究。
- 回复 RidgeWalker
- 什么刚开始？
蓝天绿地: 今天刚开始呀，明天接着来呀！
- 回复 RidgeWalker
- 努力健康。
玫瑰红茶: 学习了
哈哈，那就病的更重了哈...- 回复 RidgeWalker
- 中国文化不把心理病当病，旁人开导开导就了事。积攒了很多有害情绪，降低了人们的生活质量。
yiyi10: 是呀現在到處都人心情糾結，不舒服，而且還覺得糾結的就有深度，
時間久了就會惹出憂慮症，其實都需要看看心裡醫生... ...
- 回复 yiyi10
- 你說的很對，嘿嘿，可有些人不是這麼想的，他們覺得把真話說出來，
RidgeWalker: 中国文化不把心理病当病，旁人开导开导就了事。积攒了很多有害情绪，降低了人们的生活质量。
就沒有秘密，所以就一直都在說假話，騙人，
這樣的生活質量永遠不會提高了，素質也會更差...
- 回复 RidgeWalker
- 心理疾病是个怪圈，不健康的人总认为别人不健康。
yiyi10: 你說的很對，嘿嘿，可有些人不是這麼想的，他們覺得把真話說出來，
就沒有秘密，所以就一直都在說假話，騙人，
這樣的生活質量永遠不會提高了，素質也會更差...[ ...
看到太多无缘无故火冒三丈或者把自家关在黑屋子里的人。悲哀啊。
- 回复 yiyi10
- 我也見過，可輕微的就更多了，可是美國人比較實在，
RidgeWalker: 心理疾病是个怪圈，不健康的人总认为别人不健康。
看到太多无缘无故火冒三丈或者把自家关在黑屋子里的人。悲哀啊。 ...
一覺得自己感覺不好就馬上去專業心理醫生看，可中國人思想比較陳舊，
糾結了，還覺得自己有深度別人看不懂他，這就更危險了...
- 回复 RidgeWalker
- 对，常常抱怨别人不理解TA。正常人如何理解疾病的弯弯绕啊。
yiyi10: 我也見過，可輕微的就更多了，可是美國人比較實在，
一覺得自己感覺不好就馬上去專業心理醫生看，可中國人思想比較陳舊，
糾結了，還覺得自己有深度別人看不懂他 ...
- 回复 RidgeWalker
- 然后就撒泼，哭闹，痛哭流涕，鸡飞狗上墙。
yiyi10: 這就是最讓人不能忍受的了...
别人绝不能说TA有病的。。。。
